Back Again
March 28th, 2009I thought when I started this blog that I would be a lot more diligent about getting on here and updating. What I am finding out is that working a “real” job as opposed to working til 3pm and then leaving for the day, is a lot harder than I thought! Not mention taking care of the grand-baby a few days a week and on most Saturdays from 8:30am til 10:30pm.
How do you ever get anything accomplished when everything closes at 5pm or 5:30pm!? I have been terribly spoiled haven’t I? Finding the time or energy to get things done was pretty tough the first few months but I think I have my mojo back!
I am still struggling a bit with the new job but I am getting there. Do I want to do this the rest of my life? I ask myself that a few times a week. I feel a bit lost every now and then and have little twinges of melancholy when I think of the 30 years I spent in radio. Looking at the other news items and hearing from some of my radio friends I know that I am not the only one has had to redirect themselves. I read a story on Yahoo the other day about some guy who was making $750,000 a year and lost his job. He couldn’t find anything else and is now delivering pizza. He has a huge house, a wife and a couple of kids. I doubt very much that what he is making is putting any kind of dent into the debts he owes but you have to give him credit for getting out there and doing what he has to do. I am sure after the story ran he got some job offers that are closer to where his experience lies. But I can’t help but wonder, what did he do with the money? Just because you make that much money does that mean you have to spend it all? I guess the wealthy live paycheck to paycheck too. I also read a story about Warren Buffet, one of the richest men in the US. He still lives in the house he bought back in 1958 for $31,000. Granted, it is still 6000 square feet and pretty nice but I find it impressive that he doesn’t feel the need to upgrade in relation to the size of his bank account. Do a google search for Warren Buffet, house, and check it out for yourself. But then again, I wonder if he has “vacation” homes? Quick search and I see that he does have another house worth about $4million. According to Forbes that’s still less than one hundredth of a percent of his estimated net worth.
I have a friend who left Alabama to go work in Savannah at a Cumulus cluster. She was let go about a month ago. She spent a lot of time applying at radio stations but nobody is hiring. She may get a job at a hair salon. Someone else is going to work for an insurance company. We do what we have to make ends meet. Until there is a change in the way radio does business our radio carreers may be over. She is still young though, and single, so she has no problem packing up and moving across country. For those of us that have invested so much time and energy into one market the thought of selling our homes and leaving friends and family is not something we want to consider.
People ask me every day if I miss being on the air. My answer is yes. I do miss being on the air. I don’t miss the stupid politics and lamebrain decisions made by people who have no idea about local markets. I do miss connecting with listeners, the regulars who would call me everyday and say hello and chat with me. I knew their lives, their families and their jobs. I am sad that I don’t get to talk to them anymore.
I miss talking about things and ideas. I catch myself when I hear something, read something or observe something and I think “I need to remember that so I can talk about on the air tomorrow” and then I remember that there won’t be any time spent on the air tomorrow. But that is happening less often now. What I need to start doing is using this blog space to talk about those things. I just need to discipline myself to do it! It is so much easier to crack a mic and chat then to get on my laptop, sign in and put it all down in words. How lazy is that? I should start carrying a little hand held recorder and I could make notes. Oh wait, my phone does have that capability. Well, I have run out of excuses.
As far as my voice work goes I have been lazy about that too. Of course I have been doing plenty for my new job at Commercials on Hold but I haven’t done a lot of outside stuff lately. But I have re-signed with a talent booking site and am determined to get crackin’ doing some demo’s and hopefully pick up some more work.
Sometimes I feel like I am 17 years old again trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. My mind goes in 6 different directions and all I do is go in circles. Do I want to pursue this? Do I want to do that? Should I take some courses? I guess if I had a large bank account that allowed me some breathing room the decisions would be easier. It would be nice to be able to take some courses that would allow me to explore different avenues but right now I don’t see that happening. Instead I have been focusing my attention on remodeling some rooms in my house. Simple stuff like new paint, some crown molding and chair rails. That makes me happy and painting walls is very therapeutic. I don’t know why that is. Maybe it the repetitive motions that sort of puts your brain in a trance. Or it could just be the fumes.
I know this blog is a bit disjointed. As I said, my mind is going in so many directions. But at least it isn’t just going! I would like to hear from others that are in mid-life and have lost their jobs. What are they doing? What thoughts are going through their heads? Are they using this time to pursue dreams they had before life got in the way? Before family and responsibilities took over? Are they thinking outside the box and using this time to brainstorm and come up with new ideas and dreams? Or are they foundering in depression and self-pity, locking themselves away from those that love them and reliving the past? I hope not. You are only given one life and it is meant to be savored no matter what circumstance you may be facing. Somebody asked me the other day how I could stay so calm amidst all the turmoil in my life lately. Not just the job loss but other things as well. I told her that even though sometimes I don’t feel so in control of my life that there is One who is. I know that God has plans for me. It may not be the dreams that I would envision for myself but if I allow myself to be open to the possibilities that are in front of me and continue to pray that God gives me peace in any situation I will be OK.